How do I examine my conscience before confession?

Start with a short prayer for light, then go through the Ten Commandments one at a time and ask yourself honest, specific questions about each. Note anything serious and roughly how often it happened. Finish with an act of sorrow and go to confession. A written guide like this one makes it much easier than working from memory.

What sins must be confessed in confession?

All grave (mortal) sins committed since baptism and not yet confessed must be confessed, by kind and by number, as far as you can remember them after a careful examination. Venial sins do not have to be confessed, but the Church strongly recommends confessing them too. If you are unsure whether something was grave, mention it and ask the priest.

What if I forget a sin in confession?

If you honestly forgot it, you have not made a bad confession: the Catechism teaches that those who confess all the sins they can remember place all of them before God’s mercy. A grave sin forgotten in good faith should still be mentioned in your next confession, since the Church asks that every grave sin be confessed once. Deliberately hiding a grave sin is different, and should be confessed along with the fact that it was hidden.

How long should an examination of conscience take?

There is no set time. The Church asks for a careful examination, not a long one. For someone who goes to confession regularly, ten or fifteen minutes is usually enough; after many years away it can take longer, and the priest can help with the rest.

What makes a sin mortal rather than venial?

A sin is mortal when three conditions are all present: the matter is grave, the person knows it is seriously wrong, and the person freely and deliberately chooses it. If any of the three is missing, the sin is venial. The Catechism says the Ten Commandments specify what counts as grave matter.

Examination of Conscience: Ten Commandments Guide

An examination of conscience is an honest review of your life since your last confession, made in prayer, so that you know what you need to confess. The Catechism asks that the sacrament be prepared for this way, by an examination "made in the light of the Word of God." ¹ This page is a guide for doing it, arranged by the Ten Commandments, with the precepts of the Church and the capital sins at the end.

Begin with a short prayer asking the Holy Spirit for light: Psalm 51 is the classic one, or simply ask in your own words to see yourself truthfully. Then go through the sections one at a time and stop at whatever applies. Most people find it helps to jot down a word or two, especially for anything serious, and to note roughly how often it happened. Skip what plainly does not fit your life.

Do not let the examination become a trap. If you find yourself going around and around the same question, unsure whether something was a sin or whether it was serious, stop there and bring it to the priest as it is. Saying "I am not sure about this" in confession is entirely normal, and helping with exactly that is part of his work.

How to examine your conscience before confession

The Catechism points to Scripture as the measure, naming the moral teaching of the Gospels and the apostolic letters, the Sermon on the Mount in particular. ¹ The Ten Commandments are the traditional frame because they cover the whole of a life: God, family, other people, the body, property, speech and desire. Reading Matthew 5 to 7 before you start is a good way to set the tone.

What you are looking for first is grave sin. Canon law asks the faithful to confess, in kind and in number, every grave sin committed after baptism and not yet confessed, so far as a careful examination brings it to mind. ² "Kind" means what the sin was; "number" means how many times, or an honest estimate such as "about once a week for a year." A long story is not needed.

For a sin to be mortal, three things must be true together. It must concern grave matter; it must be committed with full knowledge; and it must be committed with deliberate consent. ³ The Catechism says the Ten Commandments specify what grave matter is, and that full knowledge means knowing the act is sinful, opposed to God’s law. ³ Ignorance that is not your fault can lessen or even remove responsibility, though no one is considered ignorant of the basic principles of the moral law written in every conscience. ³

When any of the three is missing, the sin is venial: a less serious matter, or a serious one done without full knowledge or full consent. ³ Venial sin is still real. It weakens charity and slows growth in virtue. ³ The Church does not require venial sins to be confessed but strongly recommends it, because confessing them regularly forms the conscience and helps a person fight habits rather than only individual acts. ¹²

One more thing to keep in mind as you go: you can share in someone else’s sin. The Catechism names taking part in it directly, ordering, advising, praising or approving it, failing to prevent or disclose it when you were obliged to, and protecting the person who did it. ⁴

How long should this take? Long enough to be careful. Canon law speaks of a diligent examination, not a timed one. ² For someone who confesses monthly, ten or fifteen minutes is usually plenty. For someone returning after years away, it may be worth doing over two sittings, and it is fine to tell the priest at the start that it has been a long time.

First Commandment: I am the Lord your God; you shall have no other gods

The First Commandment asks for faith, hope and love directed to God, shown in worship and prayer, and forbids putting anything else in his place. The Catechism treats it in nn. 2084–2141, including sins against faith such as deliberate doubt, heresy and apostasy; against hope, such as despair and presumption; and against charity, such as indifference and spiritual sloth. ⁵ It also names superstition, idolatry, divination, magic, sacrilege and simony, and calls idolatry, magic and sacrilege against the Eucharist grave. ⁵

Have I prayed, or have whole days and weeks gone by without my turning to God at all?
Have I deliberately doubted or refused to believe something God has revealed and the Church teaches, as opposed to struggling honestly with a question?
Have I rejected the faith, or denied it in front of others to avoid embarrassment or cost?
Have I neglected to learn my faith as an adult, while having the time and means to do so?
Have I despaired of God’s mercy, deciding that I am beyond forgiveness?
Have I presumed on God’s mercy, sinning because I knew I could confess it later, or assuming I would be saved without any change of life?
Have I put money, success, a relationship, pleasure, comfort or my own image ahead of God in practice?
Have I consulted horoscopes, psychics, mediums, tarot or Ouija boards, or treated charms and lucky objects as if they had power?
Have I taken part in occult or New Age practices, séances, spells or anything meant to call on spirits?
Have I received Holy Communion while conscious of unconfessed mortal sin?
Have I treated sacred things, places or persons with contempt, or concealed a serious sin in a past confession?
Have I been ungrateful to God, or cold and careless toward him when I knew better?

Second Commandment: You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain

The Second Commandment asks for reverence in speech toward God, the saints and holy things, and for keeping the promises and oaths we make in God’s name. The Catechism treats it in nn. 2142–2167; it calls blasphemy a grave sin and perjury a grave lack of respect for God. ⁶

Have I spoken against God with hatred, contempt or defiance, or mocked the Blessed Virgin, the saints or the Church?
Have I used the name of God or of Jesus carelessly, as filler, in anger or as a curse word?
Have I cursed other people, wishing them harm in God’s name?
Have I sworn an oath falsely, or lied after swearing to tell the truth, in court or anywhere else?
Have I made a promise or a vow to God and broken it without good reason?
Have I used religion as cover for something wrong, or used God’s name to manipulate someone?
Have I been ashamed to be known as a Catholic, or let jokes about the faith pass when I should have spoken?

Third Commandment: Remember to keep holy the Lord’s day

The Third Commandment asks Christians to keep Sunday holy: by taking part in Mass, by resting from work that is not necessary, and by giving time to God, family and the needs of others. The Catechism treats it in nn. 2168–2195. It says the Sunday Mass obligation can be excused by a serious reason, such as illness or the care of infants, or dispensed by one’s pastor, and that deliberately failing in it is a grave sin. ⁷

Have I missed Mass on a Sunday or holy day of obligation through my own fault, when nothing serious prevented me?
Have I arrived late or left early without reason, or been there in body while refusing any attention?
Have I kept my children from Mass, or failed to bring them when it was my responsibility?
Have I done unnecessary work or shopping on Sunday, or required it of others, so that the day lost its character?
Have I spent the Lord’s day in a way that left no room at all for God, rest or my family?
Have I neglected the sick, elderly or lonely people I could have visited or helped on Sunday?

Fourth Commandment: Honor your father and your mother

The Fourth Commandment covers duties within the family in both directions: children toward parents, parents toward children, and siblings toward one another. It extends to authority in general, the duties of citizens and those who govern them. The Catechism treats it in nn. 2196–2257. ⁸

Have I treated my parents with disrespect, contempt or coldness, in person or behind their backs?
While living at home, have I disobeyed my parents in what they reasonably asked of me?
As an adult child, have I neglected my parents in old age, sickness, loneliness or need, when I could have helped?
Have I been unkind, jealous or quarrelsome with my brothers and sisters, or refused to make peace with them?
As a parent, have I neglected my children’s religious and moral formation, or left it entirely to others?
Have I given my children a bad example by my words, habits or treatment of my spouse?
Have I been harsh, unjust or absent with my children, or failed to correct them when they needed it?
Have I pressured my children in their choice of a spouse or a vocation in ways that did not respect their freedom?
Have I failed to do my part as a citizen: paying taxes owed, voting with a conscience formed by the faith, obeying just laws?
In any position of authority, at work or elsewhere, have I treated those under me unjustly or used power for myself?

Fifth Commandment: You shall not kill

The Fifth Commandment protects human life from conception to natural death and covers everything that harms the life, health and soul of others or of oneself. The Catechism treats it in nn. 2258–2330. It calls murder, direct abortion and euthanasia gravely contrary to the moral law; it calls the use of drugs other than for therapy a grave offense and says reckless driving that endangers others carries grave guilt; and it counts scandal, leading another person into sin, among grave offenses. ⁹ It also says anger becomes a mortal sin when it reaches a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound someone, and hatred becomes a grave sin when it deliberately wishes someone grave harm. ⁹

Have I physically harmed anyone, or threatened to?
Have I had an abortion, or encouraged, pressured, paid for or helped someone to have one?
Have I supported or taken part in euthanasia or assisted suicide?
Have I harbored hatred, wished serious harm on someone, or nursed a desire for revenge?
Have I refused to forgive someone, or kept a grudge alive on purpose?
Have I lost my temper in ways that frightened or hurt others, at home, at work or on the road?
Have I gotten drunk, used drugs, or abused prescription medication?
Have I driven after drinking, or driven recklessly or while distracted in ways that put others in danger?
Have I neglected my health through gluttony or carelessness, or taken needless risks with my life?
Have I led someone else into sin by encouragement, mockery, pressure or bad example?
Have I bullied, humiliated or belittled anyone, online or in person?

If you have been thinking about ending your own life, please tell someone today: a priest, a doctor, a person you trust, or the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by call or text. The Catechism is clear that grave psychological suffering can lessen a person’s responsibility. ⁹

Sixth Commandment: You shall not commit adultery

The Sixth Commandment concerns sexuality, chastity and the faithfulness of marriage. Chastity is asked of everyone in a way suited to their state of life: continence for the unmarried, fidelity within marriage. The Catechism treats it in nn. 2331–2400. It calls fornication gravely contrary to the dignity of persons, pornography a grave offense, masturbation gravely disordered, and adultery, divorce and cohabitation offenses against the dignity of marriage, with adultery and divorce named as grave; it calls contraception intrinsically evil. ¹⁰

Have I looked at pornography, in any form, or sought it out?
Have I committed sins of impurity alone (masturbation)?
Have I had sexual relations with someone I am not married to?
Am I living with someone as though married without being married?
Have I been unfaithful to my spouse, or deliberately pursued a relationship that was leading there?
In marriage, have I used contraception or sought sterilization for that purpose?
Have I used, or encouraged someone to use, methods of conceiving a child that the Church teaches are not morally acceptable?
Have I pressured, manipulated or forced anyone into sexual activity, or touched someone without their consent?
Have I behaved, dressed, spoken or joked in ways meant to provoke lust in others?
Have I knowingly put myself in situations where I expected to fall into these sins?
As a married person, have I been cold, selfish or demanding toward my spouse in our intimate life?

If anything in your past involves the abuse of a minor, as victim or otherwise, a priest can help you take the next steps, including outside the confessional.

Seventh Commandment: You shall not steal

The Seventh Commandment forbids taking or keeping what belongs to others unjustly and asks for justice and charity in the use of material goods. The Catechism treats it in nn. 2401–2463. It names, besides plain theft, keeping things lent or found, business fraud, unjust wages, tax evasion, forgery, waste and willful damage to property, and it requires restitution of what was taken. ¹¹ It also covers honest work, the just treatment of workers, gambling that deprives a family of what it needs, care for creation, and love for the poor. ¹¹

Have I stolen anything, large or small, including from my employer, a store or a family member?
Have I kept something I borrowed, or something I found when I could have returned it?
Have I cheated in business, in my taxes, on an insurance claim or an expense report?
Have I given less than an honest day’s work for my pay, or wasted my employer’s time and resources?
As an employer or manager, have I paid unjust wages, delayed pay, or treated workers unfairly?
Have I failed to pay debts I could have paid, or broken contracts and agreements?
Have I damaged someone’s property, or pirated software, music or films?
Have I gambled away money my family needed?
Have I made restitution where I owe it, or have I been putting it off?
Have I been stingy toward the poor and toward the Church, given what I actually have?
Have I wasted food, money or the goods of the earth, or been cruel to animals?

Eighth Commandment: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor

The Eighth Commandment forbids misrepresenting the truth and asks us to bear witness to it, including the truth of the faith. The Catechism treats it in nn. 2464–2513. It distinguishes rash judgment (assuming the worst about someone without enough reason), detraction (revealing someone’s real faults to people who had no need to know) and calumny (damaging someone’s reputation with falsehoods), and says a lie becomes a mortal sin when it does grave harm to justice and charity. ¹² Whoever damages another’s reputation is obliged to repair it as far as possible. ¹²

Have I lied, to get out of trouble, to look better, or to gain an advantage?
Have I told lies that did real harm to someone?
Have I gossiped, or spread someone’s faults to people who had no need to know?
Have I said things about someone that were false or exaggerated, in person, by text or online?
Have I judged someone harshly without knowing the facts, or refused to give them the benefit of the doubt?
Have I tried to repair a reputation I damaged?
Have I flattered someone in a way that encouraged them in wrongdoing?
Have I betrayed a confidence or revealed a professional secret without a grave reason?
Have I boasted, or used sarcasm to belittle people?
Have I posted reviews, comments or content that I knew were unfair or untrue?
Have I stayed silent about my faith out of fear, when I should have spoken?

Ninth Commandment: You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife

The Ninth Commandment concerns the heart, where sins against chastity begin. The Catechism treats it in nn. 2514–2533. It distinguishes the pull of desire itself, which is not a sin, from consenting to it, and names as defenses prayer, purity of intention, discipline of the imagination, refusing impure thoughts as they come, and modesty in dress and behavior. ¹³ The distinction matters for an examination: a passing temptation that you did not want and did not entertain is not something you need to confess.

Have I deliberately entertained sexual thoughts or fantasies about someone, rather than turning away from them?
Have I deliberately desired someone else’s spouse, or someone who is not mine?
Have I chosen shows, films, games, music or websites that I knew would fill my mind with impurity?
Have I been careless about what I let my eyes linger on, in public or online?
Have I neglected prayer and the other means of keeping a pure heart?
Have I dressed or presented myself in ways that disregarded modesty?

Tenth Commandment: You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods

The Tenth Commandment concerns desire for things: greed, avarice and envy. The Catechism treats it in nn. 2534–2557. Wanting a thing is not wrong in itself, and the Catechism allows desiring what another has if it is obtained by just means; what it forbids is the craving for goods without limit, and envy, sadness at another’s good with the wish to have it unjustly. It calls envy a capital sin and says it becomes mortal when it wishes a neighbor grave harm. ¹⁴

Have I envied what others have, resented their success, or been glad at their misfortune?
Have I been consumed by the desire for more money, possessions or status?
Have I let worry about money crowd out trust in God?
Have I compared myself with others in ways that made me bitter or ungrateful?
Have I been willing to cut corners or hurt someone to get what I wanted?
Have I been content with what God has given me, and generous with it?

The precepts of the Church

The precepts of the Church are the minimum the Church asks of every Catholic in prayer and moral life. The Catechism lists five: attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation; confess your sins at least once a year; receive Holy Communion at least during the Easter season; keep holy the holy days of obligation; and observe the prescribed days of fasting and abstinence. It adds the duty of providing for the material needs of the Church, each according to his means. ¹⁵ Canon law makes the yearly confession of grave sins an obligation from the age of discretion. ²

Under canon law, abstinence from meat is kept on Fridays unless a solemnity falls on one, and both fasting and abstinence on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Abstinence binds from age fourteen; fasting binds adults until the start of their sixtieth year. ¹⁶ The bishops of each country may set the details and substitute other penances, especially works of charity and prayer, so check what your own bishops have decided. ¹⁶

Have I missed Mass on a Sunday or holy day of obligation through my own fault?
Have I gone more than a year without confession while aware of grave sin?
Have I failed to receive Communion at least once during the Easter season?
Have I ignored the days of fasting and abstinence, including the Friday penance?
Have I contributed to the support of my parish and the Church in proportion to what I have?

The seven capital sins and the works of mercy

Some people find it helpful to finish with a second pass by a different route. The capital sins are called capital because other sins grow from them, and the Catechism lists them as pride, avarice, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth or acedia. ⁴ Asking which of these drives most of what you found in the commandments often shows the root that needs work, and it is worth telling the priest.

Pride: Have I needed to be right, admired or in control? Have I looked down on others?
Avarice: Have I clung to money and things?
Envy: Have I resented others’ gifts and good fortune?
Wrath: Have I been quick to anger, or held on to it?
Lust: Have I treated others, or myself, as objects of pleasure?
Gluttony: Have I been ruled by food or drink?
Sloth: Have I avoided the effort that love of God and neighbor asks, in prayer, in work, or in my duties?

The works of mercy are another lens, because they ask what you failed to do rather than what you did. The Catechism names among them instructing, advising, consoling and comforting, forgiving, and bearing wrongs patiently, and feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and imprisoned, and burying the dead. ¹⁷ Read slowly, that list is an examination in itself.

After the examination

When you have finished, stop examining. Look over your notes, put the grave matters first, and give the rest a sentence or two. Then turn from the list to God: the Confiteor and Psalm 51 are both good prayers of sorrow to pray before you go in.

What happens in the confessional, step by step, is set out in our guide to confession, including what to say if it has been many years. When the priest asks you to express your sorrow, you can pray the Act of Contrition or use your own words.

Remember what the Catechism says of those who do their honest best: "When Christ’s faithful strive to confess all the sins that they can remember, they undoubtedly place all of them before the divine mercy for pardon." ¹ The examination is for that, and only for that.

If examining your conscience regularly leaves you anxious, or you keep returning to sins already confessed, you may be dealing with scrupulosity, which is common and treatable. Tell your confessor, and consider asking him or another priest to guide you over time. Regular spiritual direction is the usual help. Your parish is the first place to ask; GraceBook also lists Catholic mentors who describe their own background, and you can look for one here, though it checks no one’s credentials.

Common questions

How do I examine my conscience before confession?: Start with a short prayer for light, then go through the Ten Commandments one at a time and ask yourself honest, specific questions about each. Note anything serious and roughly how often it happened. Finish with an act of sorrow and go to confession. A written guide like this one makes it much easier than working from memory.
What sins must be confessed in confession?: All grave (mortal) sins committed since baptism and not yet confessed must be confessed, by kind and by number, as far as you can remember them after a careful examination. Venial sins do not have to be confessed, but the Church strongly recommends confessing them too. If you are unsure whether something was grave, mention it and ask the priest.
What if I forget a sin in confession?: If you honestly forgot it, you have not made a bad confession: the Catechism teaches that those who confess all the sins they can remember place all of them before God’s mercy. A grave sin forgotten in good faith should still be mentioned in your next confession, since the Church asks that every grave sin be confessed once. Deliberately hiding a grave sin is different, and should be confessed along with the fact that it was hidden.
How long should an examination of conscience take?: There is no set time. The Church asks for a careful examination, not a long one. For someone who goes to confession regularly, ten or fifteen minutes is usually enough; after many years away it can take longer, and the priest can help with the rest.
What makes a sin mortal rather than venial?: A sin is mortal when three conditions are all present: the matter is grave, the person knows it is seriously wrong, and the person freely and deliberately chooses it. If any of the three is missing, the sin is venial. The Catechism says the Ten Commandments specify what counts as grave matter.

Examination of Conscience: A Catholic Guide Based on the Ten Commandments